Well, this is an epic day indeed. In fact, it’s starting to look like it might actually be an epic year, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just celebrate the epic-ness that has occurred in the last 24 hours. You see, in the last 24 hours, I have taken one small step for me, one giant leap for changing my life. This is huge, people. What did I do, you ask? Well two things really, both related because they are things I have been afraid of doing. One is something I try to avoid at all costs, and one is something I've been putting off doing. Let’s begin.
Late yesterday afternoon I attended my first Zumba class. While this might not be a big deal for most people, it is a huge victory for me. You see, I have a fear of public exercise. Now, I realize that this is a strange fear for a former dancer to have, so I shall explain my dread of such things. First of all, I am widely considered to be a world-class klutz. Yup, I said it, I’m clumsy. I can’t walk and chew gum, and if you ask my friend Nicole, she will inform you that I can’t walk and talk at the same time either. So aerobics of any kind is challenging because it moves very fast and the moves aren’t broken down before you’re expected to go there. Now, I have attended my fair share of dance classes and that is an environment where you are there to be judged, by the teacher, by your classmates, the whole thing is set up as competition to see who the best dancer will be. So the times that I have taken group exercise classes, this overwhelming feeling of being judged comes over me and it makes me self conscious. I hate that feeling. But yesterday I swallowed my fear and dove into class where I knew no one. And everyone else knew each other. Not only did I make it through, but I was proud of myself for doing so. I conquered my fear.
Then this morning I did something that I have been putting off because I was afraid of failing. I wrote and submitted an article to an online magazine. Now the three of you who read this blog will be surprised that I was afraid to do this, but it’s one thing to write and publish things yourself, and a whole other thing to submit something for someone else’s approval. Plus if I get published, that makes me an official writer, something I’ve always dreamed of doing. The prospect of being rejected scared me. I think I’m a good writer, but someone else telling me I am not is scary. I wrote six articles to submit and deleted them all because they did not sound like me and were so not who I am. And then today, in writing an encouragement for a friend, words simply flowed and I knew instantly that I had written my submission. They don’t have to like it. But at least now I can’t say that I didn’t try.
So when the realization hit me that I had overcome two very big fears in one 24 hour period, I happened to look at the clock. It was 11:11 am on 1-11-11. Wow. This just may be an epic year yet. I’m looking forward to it!
