Friday, October 25, 2013

Fiction Friday, Post 1

Dear 2.5 people who read this blog,

Sorry for not posting since the 9th, but I've been dealing with a number of tricky situations, none of which I can blame on the aforementioned Squirrel with a Death Wish. As I mentally scrolled through the list of reasons why in order to create a clever post about them, I realized that none of them were really "blog worthy" reasons. They all deal with the mundane ins and outs of living a normal, ordinary life in a normal, ordinary town. They would all bore you, dear readers, to death. So instead, I've decided to declare today Fiction Friday, and tell you a story about a little blue fairy. (Legal note: I retain all rights to this story and any resemblance to other stories or people, living or fictional are purely coincidental and unintended, blah blah blah)

A Bad Day for the Little Blue Fairy

Once upon a time (but it was really four weeks ago) there lived a little blue fairy (Don't worry, she's still with us. This isn't one of THOSE stories. No tissues needed) Now the blue fairy had a very important job to do. Her job in the spring and summer was to go around all the flowers in the field and tell them how beautiful they are, so that they would raise their faces up and shine for all the world to see. And in the fall she would sing them to sleep and whisper to the trees to change their colors and drop them to cover the ground with brilliance. In the winter, she crafted icicles and snowmen. (In other words, she worked in social media)

Now one day, as she was whispering to the flowers and trees, she noticed that she was developing a strange itch on her ankles. "Oh my," she thought. "This is unusual." And she thought no more about it until she woke up in the middle of the night with the feeling that her legs were on fire, so itchy that nothing could relieve. She lay awake all night and cried, poor thing. The next morning, she tried wrapping her legs and arms (as the itch had spread) with healing leaves and attempted to go about her work as usual. But the itching continued.

After a week, and several dips in cups of chamomile tea, she thought it best to consult the Green Fairy Queen, who was knowledgeable in all ailments and remedies. The Green Fairy Queen reassured her that this was nothing to be concerned about, that she was making it worse by stressing out over it. The Green Fairy Queen recommended that the little blue fairy continue doing what she was doing and maybe try to relax.

So the blue fairy did just that, for two more weeks. Toward the middle of week three of the dreaded rash, she noticed that her eyes had begun itching. The next day, they were slightly swollen, but didn't seem to get much worse. Until the morning of the start of week four .....

That is when she awoke with her eyes so swollen that she could barely open them to see. Oh what dismay this brought to our sweet little blue fairy. Oh how she did cry. "I'm cursed!" she would exclaim. The Green Fairy Queen was quite concerned and insisted that the little blue fairy go on a fast, consuming nothing but water and pure juice for the next ten days. The little blue fairy complied and the next day the swelling in her face, though still very noticeable and painful, was a little better. The little blue fairy was still not feeling well, and was in need of a friend, so she called the red fairy, who lived in a far away mountain, to chat.

"Oh my little blue fairy, I am so sorry for you! This cannot be anything good! I wonder, though, if you haven't been holding in something. Something that is painful, something that is causing you stress and making you sick."

The little blue fairy thought about this and then replied "Yes!!! The Zombie Apocalypse is coming and all I have is soy sauce packets!!!"

The End

*This post is lovingly dedicated to my hubby who has been amazing in nursing me back from the worst allergic reaction I have ever had, and who thinks all you need to save the world is soy sauce packets.*

*And for Nicole, who is always on the mountain, ready to tell me to get my **** together.*

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

A Girl Can't Think Under These Conditions

Reasons why I can't get much writing done:

1) The squirrel with a death wish in the back yard. The dogs come in and less than 5 minutes later want to go out to chase said squirrel with death wish. This happens All Day Long. I believe it is an evil plot on behalf of the squirrel. Unfortunately, squirrel is faster than all three dogs.

2)Twitter and Facebook. Do I really need to explain this? Although I admit that my day job requires me to be on Facebook and Twitter as I run the social media accounts for my clients.

3)Tumblr and YouTube. I have no excuse for Tumblr. I blame that on my obsession with Doctor Who. YouTube wastes my time with thisthisthisthisthis, and sometimes something like this. Don't try and tell me this is a problem unique to me. I know the interwebs!!

4) Did I mention the squirrel?

5) Occasionally I get lost in Knithacker's world. It's an easy thing to do.

6) Blue Byte Technology Solutions. Otherwise known as the day job. But since I own the company along with my husband, I guess I should do something every now and again. But my office is located in the home, so pajamas are sometimes acceptable under the dress code.

7) We've discussed the squirrel, right???

8) The desperate call for coffee and or tea at any given moment. I really dream of the day that the stuff makes itself and magically appears in front of me.

9) Actual writer's block. The paralysing realization that you've got nothing else to move the story forward. I have yet to figure out a decent way to deal with this. Right now, it's just frustrating.

And the Top Ten reason: