Friday, October 16, 2009

I Can't Believe I'm Posting This...

Blame it on lack of sleep or lack of Starbucks, but I am posting this very embarrassing moment against my better judgment, so you all better get the appropriate amount of enjoyment from it.

So in the last 5 months (since May) I have lost quite a bit a weight. (I'll post about how I did it in a future post if anyone is interested.) I have gone from a size somewhere between an 8 and a 10, to a size somewhere between a 2 and a 4. It has happened so quickly, that I really haven't had the time to go shopping. And none of my clothes fit me properly, as you can well imagine. So what is required is that I wear a belt with all my jeans and my shirts are just baggy. What I didn't expect however, is that NOTHING would fit anymore. This would include my underwear. Which brings me to the topic of the day. Can I just say that wearing underwear is extremely important? Can we all agree on that?

So last month I had a day where I had several errands to run. I was getting dressed and was frustrated at the fact that my underwear had become so loose that it refused to stay put where it is supposed to. This had been going on for several days and frankly, was driving me nuts! Now, two of my close friends who SHALL NOT BE NAMED regularly eschew underwear and go on their merry way without the hindrance of proper undergarments. It is on these two that I blame this whole episode on. They often tease me for my steadfast adherence to wearing underwear. So on this very busy day, I decided that I was not going to be driven crazy by saggy panties! No sir, I was not! So I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and hopped into my husband's jeep, footloose and fancy-free, to run my errands.

And in my joy, I forgot one thing. A belt for my two sizes too big jeans. You see this coming don't you?

I think it is important to mention that in my day job, I am the assistant to the founder of a fairly large and well known Christian ministry here in my hometown. Lots of people know my boss, and lots of people know me only as his assistant.

So my first couple of errands went smoothly, and I was feeling good. Even treated myself to Starbucks. And then I made it to the parking lot of a well-know discount store chain that SHALL NOT BE NAMED. Now this particular box store is right down the road from my house smack dab in the middle of my neighborhood. Every time I frequent this store, I see someone I know.

So as I am stepping down from the jeep, I drop the car keys onto the ground. I simply bent down to pick them up. And that is when it happened. My disgrace. My humiliation. Yup, those too big jeans with no belt to assist in holding them up, slipped right down off my bum. My bum, that was devoid of proper undergarments. I quickly forgot about the keys and yanked them up. I cannot say if anyone saw or not because I grabbed those stupid keys, jumped in the jeep and got the heck out of there faster than you could say "I'm calling your mother!" I drove clear across town to another of those nameless stores and carefully exited the jeep, hanging on to my pants and the keys. I've never shopped so fast in all my life!

Needless to say, that was my last time going commando. And that was the last time I forgot a belt too. I called both of those friends and laid blame squarely at their trouble-making feet. Darn them, and shame on me for being so duly influenced. Dog-gone troublemakers! Of course, I still love them. I just don't take all their fashion advice to heart. And so far, I haven't heard of anyone I know actually witnessing this episode, so I think my job and reputation are still safe. At least until someone reads this and decides to share. But that's ok, as I can fully laugh about this episode now. It was over a month ago, and I've moved on. I just made sure I was dressed appropriately when I did!


  1. I'm with you, girl. Underwear's a necessity.

  2. OMG! Do I have to admit I'm your father? OMG!

  3. wow. no words. laughing very hard. :-)